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Correction expression ecritre LV1 anglais: TS

Tags :
  • Point of view
Dernière réponse : dans Etudes - Travail
27 Février 2009 00:02:26

Bonsoir à tous,

J'aurais besoin de votre aide pour vérifier l'orthographe et la synthaxe de mon essai en anglais. Le sujet est le suivant "Are differences a major obstacle to love or friendship?" (250-300 mots); je remercie d'avance celui qui prendra quelques minutes pour me lire.

It exists a lot of difference in the world, they can be physical, social,cultural or religious. These differences can arouse different feelings. Some differences move closer people people whereas another difference takes away people.
Are differences necessarily obstacles in the loving and friendly relations?

Right now when we talk about differences, we think about discrimination. In fact differences can arouse of fear or even hatred. These are at the discrimination which each of us can or was already able to know such as the discrimination at the hiring. In this case we tend has to say that differences are major obstacle in love and friendship.
Effectively, two people who don't reflect the same way, which doesn't want the same, the same needs can't be friends.

However people who are different can pull advantages of these differences which enable these persons to become better people. For it, it's necessarily that each persons who takes part in the relation puts itself in the place of the other one to understand better reactions and choices of the others.

According to me, it easier for two persons who are on the same wavelenghth and who share the same point of view, to maintain a relationship.
Nevertheless someone can hit it off with another person who is different phyically, then she can see this other person in a different light. In fact appareances are deceptive, and it's by making the effort to get to know someone different that we can become aware that differences do not to be reasons for exclusion.

To conclud, differences aren't a major obstacle to love or friendship. At the contrary they enable to broaden our mind. And we have to learn to overcome our prejudiced to value better the personnality of each. In my point of view differences don't impede relationship but on the contrary they make advance the world.


Encore merci a celui ou celle qui prendra quelques minutes pour lire et corriger mon essai :) 
A bientôt

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Meilleure solution

27 Février 2009 10:01:52

Salut !!

Je ne suis pas un dieu en anglais je te propose juste ce qui me parait bizarre et la façon dont je l'aurais dit ^^

"It exists" => there are
"a lot of difference"=> a lot of differences
- moi je dirais plus: there are so much differences in the world ...

De plus rien que dans le premier paragraphe tu utilises 'different/difference' 6 fois et tu n'as que 4 phrases ^^

Désolé pour l'instant je ne peux que te corriger cela faut que j'aille travaille run minimum quand même ^^

Byebye
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