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Corriger un texte d'anglais (simple je pense )

Dernière réponse : dans Etudes - Travail
18 Janvier 2010 08:00:02

Bonjour, n'etant pas fortich en anglais, je m'entraine a faire des redactions d'annales. Pourriez vous me corriger les fautes faites svp. A choise of career is very important in a teenager-life. But, it's, sometimes, difficult to choise one job for fifteen next years. Parents always have wishes for her children. So, are we ready to go against ours parents's wishes ? Two opinions are possibles. First, we can think the best idea would be to follow ours parents. They are objective and we want our hapiness. But, this stay a utopic-world. In many families, children cannot choise our careers guidance, and jobs are imposed. Good morning the frustation !! ( pas sure du tout lol ) Then, this drive to us , to the second opinion. Much people are ready to go against ours parents's dreams. It's understandable because these career will be a big part of our existence.Moreover, someone who will become adult has the right to do her personal-choises without be influenced from others.It is what allows people to grow and to bloom. however, we must find the alternative between these two opinions, to not to be categorical. The Parents, nevertheless, have the experience(experiment),and so, they can advise(recommend) to us, or express their opinion, without insisting. We don't forget, this heavy choise must be the our to regret it never. Merci beaucoup d'avance

Autres pages sur : corriger texte anglais simple pense

18 Janvier 2010 08:05:54

Bonjour, n'etant pas fortich en anglais, je m'entraine a faire des redactions d'annales. Pourriez vous me corriger les fautes faites svp.

A choise of career is very important in a teenager-life. But, it's, sometimes, difficult to choise one job for fifteen next years. Parents always have wishes for her children. So, are we ready to go against ours parents's wishes ? Two opinions are possibles.

First, we can think the best idea would be to follow ours parents. They are objective and we want our hapiness. But, this stay a utopic-world. In many families, children cannot choise our careers guidance, and jobs are imposed. Good morning the frustation !! ( pas sure du tout )

Then, this drive to us , to the second opinion. Much people are ready to go against ours parents's dreams. It's understandable because these career will be a big part of our existence.Moreover, someone who will become adult has the right to do her personal-choises without be influenced from others.It is what allows people to grow and to bloom.

however, we must find the alternative between these two opinions, to not to be categorical. The Parents, nevertheless, have the experience(experiment),and so, they can advise(recommend) to us, or express their opinion, without insisting. We don't forget, this heavy choise must be the our to regret it never.

Merci beaucoup d'avance
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Meilleure solution

18 Janvier 2010 22:24:19

Salut,

The choice of a career ( le choix d'une carrière) is very important in the life of a teenager. But it is ( il est préférable d'utiliser les formes pleines à l'écrit, de plus en anglais on utilise moins les virgules qu'en français et dans ce cas précis, elles ne sont pas nécessaires) sometimes difficult to choose (verbe choisir) one job for the fifteen next years. Parents always have wishes for their children. So, are we ready to go against our parents' (losqu'il y a deja un "s" au nom, on n'écrit pas pas le "s" de la possession sauf s'il s'agit d'un nom propre, exemple : thomas's book ) wishes? Two opinions are possible. (en anglais les adjectifs ne s'accordent pas, c'est peu être un peu maladroit de dire "deux opinions sont possibles" puisque chaque personne peut avoir une opinion différente).

First, we can think the best idea would be to follow our parents. They are objective and they want our happinness. But this would be some kind of utopia.. In many families, children cannot choose their vocational guidance and jobs are imposed. What a frustration!!!

This leads (verbe drive ne signifie conduire une voiture, si c'est conduire au sens de mener alors il faut utiliser le verbe "to lead") us to the second opinion. A lot of people are ready to go against their parents' dreams. It is understandable because their career will be a major part of their life. Moreover, someone who is soon to be an adult has the right to do their own choices without being influenced by others. It is what allows people to grow and to bloom.

However, we must find the alternative between these two opinions ( je ne comprends pas vraiment ce que tu veux dire), not to be categorical. Parents nevertheless are experienced so they can advise us or express their opinion without insisting. And we must not forget that this choice should to be our choice so that we never regret it.

Voila, j'espère avoir pu t'aider comme j'ai pu. Il reste peu être quelques fautes, j'ai essayé de faire de mon mieux :) 
N'hésites pas si tu as des questions ou si tu n'as pas compris une de mes remarques.
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19 Janvier 2010 03:06:45

haariiboo a dit :

A choise of career is very important in a teenager's (pas de tirer) life.
But(pas de virgule ici) it's (pas de virgule ici) sometimes (pas de virgule ici) difficult to choose one job for the next fifteen years.
Parents always have wishes for their children.
So, are we ready to go against ours parents' wishes ?
Two opinions are possible (invariable).
First, we can think the best idea would be to follow our parents. They are objective and we want our hapiness.
But, this stay a utopic-world (phrase incomprehensible).
In many families, children cannot choose theircareers guidance, and jobs are imposed (to them).
Good morning the Hello frustation !! ( pas sure du tout lol )

Then, this drives to us(pas de virgule ici) to the second opinion. Much Many people are ready to go against ours their parents' dreams.
It's understandable because these careers will be a big part of their existence.
Moreover, someone who will becomes adult has the right to do her personal choises without being influenced from by others.
It is what allows people to grow and to bloom.
However, we must find the alternative (j'imagine que tu veux dire un compromis et pas une alternative) middle between these two opinions, to not to be categorical.
The Parents, nevertheless, have the experience(experiment),and so (pas de virgule) they can advise(recommend) to us (pas de virgule ici) or express their opinion, without insisting.
We don't forget, this heavy choise must be the our to regret it never. => phrase a revoir: incomprehensible.


Dans les grandes lignes:
- arrete les virgules partout :D 

- fait attention a la comprehension du texte: quand tu met un sujet a une phrase et que tu continue en disant "ils", c'est comme si tu parlais du sujet que tu as defini plus tot, on ne comprend pas forcement le changement de sujet. Exemple:
Les enfants doivent ecouter les adultes. Ils ne sont pas assez experimentes pour faire leurs propres choix. => Ils = les enfants

- tu melanges beaucoup un texte au style impersonnel (the children, they, ...) avec des morceaux de personnel (our choices...). Ca c'est pas l'ideal.
Choisis l'un ou l'autre des style et fait tout le texte dans ce style.

- ensuite, c'est les figures de style: to be influenced by, during the next fifteen years ...
N'hesite pas a reverifier dans le dictionnaire les formes verbales et leur utilisation ainsi que l'ordre des mots des formulations. C'est pas toujours comme en francais.

Bon courage :jap: 
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19 Janvier 2010 04:59:29

Merci beaucoup, ça m'aide vraiment.
Et ce que je veux dire c'est : trouver une alternative, un juste milieu entre les deux opinions , une synthese en fait.

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19 Janvier 2010 14:51:59

Donc c'est ce que je t'ai mis ;) 
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26 Janvier 2010 17:02:54

Meilleure réponse sélectionnée par haariiboo.
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7 Février 2017 09:10:50

Vous pouvez me dire si j'ai fait des fautes s'il vous plaît
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7 Février 2017 16:11:39

7 ans après ? Non !
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