Se connecter / S'enregistrer
Votre question
Résolu

[ANGLAIS] CORRECTION

Tags :
  • Workstation
Dernière réponse : dans Etudes - Travail
11 Octobre 2010 19:03:16

Bonjour,

Voilà je dois faire une présentation oral de mon stage en entreprise devant ma classe.

Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait y jeter un œil pour corriger les quelques erreurs encore présente ?

-----------------------------

Diapo 2 :
I did my internship in the EDIM department of UTBM.
It is a engineering university located in Belfort and Montbéliard in France.
The students can join this training after a A-levels or a Second Year university.
The UTBM now has two thousand students.

Diapo 3:
The main objective of EDIM department is to train engineers for evaluation and design of tasks or products in order to make them compatible with the needs and limits of the users.
For example, they are launching studies on the driving position to make it easier to use so that the user feels more comfortable.

Diapo 4 :
They also modify the workstation to avoid injuries and to make them more productive.

Diapo 5 :
The purpose of my internship was to create a computer program for teachers to enable them to manage the curriculum of their students.
The goal was to know their results, their training and their personal information.

Diapo 6 :
This computer program would allow teachers to better understand their students, to better guide them, to make decisions about their success (graduate, repeating) and to validate their work placements requests in France or abroad.
This program would also enable them to compile statistics.
For example, what training have followed the good students before coming, in which lesson students receive bad or good results or what is the difference between the number of girls and boys within the department.

Diapo 7 :
Before getting my program the teachers managed their students using paper document.
But they spent too much time to find students because the workbooks were huge.

Diapo 8 :
The teachers also managed their students using Microsoft Excel.
However over time, this system became enormous because of the large number of students and the computers were crashing.
They needed a program tailored to meet their expectations.

Diapo 9 :
So I created an intranet site that displayed the photo of each student enabling the teacher to easily recognize them.
My site provided information on their addresses, course of studies, degrees and results wich was visible in just a few clicks.
It also displayed a number of statistics as requested by teachers.

Diapo 11 :
The application is now used by the teachers and they begin to make their decision through it.


-------------------------


THANKS A LOT !!! :) 

Autres pages sur : anglais correction

Meilleure solution

12 Octobre 2010 01:02:38

bond70 a dit :
Bonjour,

Voilà je dois faire une présentation oral de mon stage en entreprise devant ma classe.

Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait y jeter un œil pour corriger les quelques erreurs encore présente ?

-----------------------------

Diapo 2 :
I did my internship in the EDIM department of UTBM.
It is a engineering university located in Belfort and Montbéliard in France.
The students can join this training after a A-levels or a Second Year university (apres une 2eme annee de Fac ou apres 2 ans de cours a la Fac ?).
The UTBM now has two thousand students.

Diapo 3:
The main objective of EDIM department is to train engineers for evaluation and design of tasks or products in order to make them compatible with the needs and limits of the users. (c'est quoi la phrase en francais parce que c'est ambigu en anglais te l que c'est ecrit...)
For example, they are launching studies on the driving position to make it easier to use so that the user feels more comfortable.

Diapo 4 :
They also modify the workstations to avoid injuries and to make them more productive.

Diapo 5 :
The purpose of my internship was to create a computer program for teachers to enable them to manage the curriculum of their students.
The goal was to know their results, their training and their personal information.

Diapo 6 :
This computer program would allow teachers to better understand their students, to better guide them, to make decisions about their success (graduate, repeating) and to validate their work placements requests in France or abroad.
This program would also enable them to compile statistics.
For example, what training have the good students followed before coming, in which lesson do students receive bad or good results or what is the difference between the number of girls and boys within the department.

Diapo 7 :
Before getting my program, the teachers managed their students using paper documents.
But they spent too much time to find students because the workbooks were huge.

Diapo 8 :
The teachers also managed their students using Microsoft Excel.
However over time, this system became enormous because of the large number of students and the computers were crashing.
They needed a program tailored to meet their expectations.

Diapo 9 :
So I created an intranet site that displayed the photo of each student enabling the teacher to easily recognize them.
My site provided information on their addresses, course of studies, degrees and results were visible in just a few clicks.
It also displayed a number of statistics as requested by teachers.

Diapo 11 :
The application is now used by the teachers and they begin to make their decision through (with/using ? ) it.


-------------------------


THANKS A LOT !!! :) 

Voila ;) 
partage
12 Octobre 2010 11:03:12

Juste un bémol, ce qui est valable en français lors d'une présentation PPT est également valable en anglais....
Pour que la présentation soit dynamique et que ta classe ne sombre pas dans le coma trop vite, tu devrais éviter le "par coeur".
Je sais que ça doit te servir de béquille, mais si tu recraches un texte appris mot à mot, ta voix sera monocorde et de plus ça accroit les risques de plantage. Il suffit que tu oublie un morceau sous l'effet du stress et il te sera difficile de revenir correctement.
Je pense que tu devrais préparer bien sûr, mais de façon plus évasive, entraines toi plusieurs fois devant des gens, en connaissant les points principaux mais en "improvisant" davantage. Ces personnes pourront te dire quelles fautes ils ont entendu, et ce sera je pense plus efficace et formateur que l'apprentissage de ton texte.

m
0
l
Contenus similaires
19 Octobre 2010 07:07:18

merci à tous!
m
0
l
29 Octobre 2010 01:56:09

Meilleure réponse sélectionnée par bond70.
m
0
l
Tom's guide dans le monde
  • Allemagne
  • Italie
  • Irlande
  • Royaume Uni
  • Etats Unis
Suivre Tom's Guide
Inscrivez-vous à la Newsletter
  • ajouter à twitter
  • ajouter à facebook
  • ajouter un flux RSS